10. Rackets Salient Features

10. Rackets Salient Features

An introduction - pace setter

We need to be loving, affectionate, compassionate, considerate, helpful, happy, joyful, assertive, requesting, fun loving. 

Unfortunately there is no curriculum to teach parents about the need to teach their children these feelings, emotions and mannerisms about how to express themselves. There is no syllabus in nursery, primary and middle schools either for these purposes. 

Children face no, I say no, don't, keep away, and are also punished in very many ways not to say threatened with distancing, isolation, repoting to spouse, teacher, parents etc. The opposite of the listed feelings are reported or pointed out or told not to be them. Like don't cry, don't sit quiet, don't be afraid, don't sit here, don't stand there etcetera without providing children with alternatives.

Thus the desirable are not delivered and the not desirable are delivered even repeated frequently by not to say only physical, but also by emotional, punishment, threats of punishment and abuse. 

However, what children say, do, act, express, behave is pointed out with a don't. 

This is the way rackets are generated unawarely and innocently at the hands of the parents. The rackets pass down generations because parents too have not been taught or learnt about the adverse affects of their treatment.

Children also take them up because their primary task is to keep parents happy. 

Children also copy from parents. Not to say about parent talking about children's shortcomings and about the school's and teacher's shortcomings within the children's hearing distance.

So rackets, can be in use of words, sentence structures, using sphincters related words, drivers related sentence structures, mannerisms, speech, speaking lies / untruth, blankness, holding back response, non-thinking thinking modes, using devious tactics, expression, doing, clearing throat, coughing, acting, mistake making, spilling, dropping, forgetting, overlooking, a show of being virtuous, honest, pure, upright concealing the reality, also a professional occupation used as a means to coerce clients into victimisation. 

Definitions : 

1. Berne : Racket is the sexualisation and transactional seeking and exploitation of unpleasant feelings. 

2. Berne : A payoff resulting from a game or a reason for initiating a game.

3. Fanita English : Racket Feeling is a substitute feeling used in place of a prohibited feeling from the past, particularly as a response to a stressful situation. 

Fanita English :Rackets are stylized repetitions of permitted feelings which were stroked in the past.

4. Woollams and Brown : A racket feeling is a feeling which results from a discount.

5. Stewart and Joines : A racket feeling is a feeling one experiences in a variety of different stress situations.

Their Salient Features are

It is a familiar emotion

Substitute feeling or emotion

Experienced in a variety of stressful situations

Maladaptive as an Adult means of problem solving

Repetitive

Manipulative

Exploitative

Outside conscious awareness

Escalate when questioned

Protected, Justified even professed

Way out

Education

Committing to learn the feelings and emotions that are overlooked, ignored instead of learning to give up those that are to be given up.

Practice

Some additional types of rackets as feelings, conditions and non affective states are mentioned.

1. Authentic feelings can manifest as racket feelings as substitutes

Anger, Sadness, Fear and Happiness count here.

2. Complex feelings manifest as rackets. They are felt.

Guilt, Shame, Anxiety, Depression.

3. Some non affective states of mind present as racket behaviours (as suffered)

Confusion, Indecision, Mental Struggle, Mental Conflicts, Blankness, Dissociations.